"Those Girls are on Bikes in Dresses!"

Do you ever feel so self conscious and think that everyone thinks you're weird? As a Mormon, you may have experienced this as lots of people think it's funny that we don't drink tea or coffee, wear sleeveless shirts, watch Rated-R movies, or go out to lunch after church. Not to worry, I can help!*

Recently, my companion and I, as well as all other missionaries in my mission, have been instructed to purchase bicycles. And then use them. For Elders, this is all well and good. Everyone is already used to seeing the boys on bikes, dressed in white shirts and ties. What they are not used to seeing is this:

Skirts; they are not conducive to bike riding.

While we may look a tiny bit silly, I have not felt all that weird putting on a helmet and biking around town. I know for a fact that my lovely companion sure has. Sure, we get the occasional snickers and double takes and, "Those girls are on bikes in dresses!" remarks, but I have yet to be embarrassed. Of course, I have not turfed it yet while riding and made a complete fool out of myself. Currently, I am a partial fool. And I'm fine with that.

See, three years ago, I learned a great lesson about reducing your embarrassment. I had found myself able to get two helium filled balloons for free. So, I decided the best use of them would be to carry them around the University of Utah campus while I went to my normal class schedule from 9 to 5 the day before my 22nd birthday. They were lilac and teal and I loved them. Most mature adults don't carry around balloons; more often than not, I sold colorful balloons to small children. Naturally, I should have been shrinking into a ball of embarrassment.

I started my day by stopping at the Union Services Desk and picking up my balloons from my dear friend Kim. Then I took them to American Literature, each of my succeeding classes, and the lunchroom in the Marriott Library. Now while I fully expected many people to ask me, "Why do you have those balloons?" no one actually did until I was standing around in the lunchroom waiting for my pizza to cook. And when I said, "My birthday's tomorrow," he didn't really care. 

I think what made everyone around me act normal was the fact that I acted like it is a completely normal thing to have two balloons tied to your wrist. Maybe they did think I was weird, but I didn't feel like they did.

We can do the same thing in most any other situation. Our confidence is what gives us strength, and if we, "Cast not away therefore [our] confidence, which hath great recompense of reward," we'll be fine. (Hebrews 10:35) In fact, we'll see great results, especially if we keep our confidence in The Lord.

Why does the Lord want to be confident? Because the other option is to be afraid.

Don't do that.

Remember, if you get the high-float, they say the balloons will last longer, but you can't take them outside. That's no fun.

*In the case of legitimate Social Phobia or Anxiety, please see you nearest licensed therapist. LDS Family Services has some good ones.

Prove It

I've been blasted with Anti-Mormon material before. I've read into the arguments of Atheists. I've heard Baptists and Pentecostals and others interpret interesting things out of the Bible. All of it would have me doubt all the claims my church makes and think that they're all unsubstantiated.

I'm human. I've let the doubts creep in. I've also had to forcibly banish the doubts away. Satan tries to twist the things I know most often when I read the Book of Mormon. I'll come across something like 1 Nephi 1:3

"And I know that the record which I make is true..."

"I summarized 1,000 years of history,
and it is true."

"Well of course Joseph Smith would put that in if he was trying to convince everyone that the Book of Mormon is true," Satan says.

Not wanting to let that sit, I argue back, "Well Nephi being a prophet and knowing we would doubt his record obviously felt the need to testify that his own words were true."

"That doesn't prove it true."

"That doesn't prove it false either."

And so these statements of prophets testifying of the Book of Mormon's validity sat funny in my head. I set them aside and moved on, as you do with things you don't understand yet.

The Day I Met D. Todd, Who Has Been to Utah

The other day, I got to meet D. Todd Christofferson.

Saturday was Stake Conference for the Kingsland, GA Stake. Two General Authorities came to visit because the Stake Presidency got reorganized. They were Elder Larry S. Catcher of the Seventy and Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. To Mormons, as some of you may know, meeting an apostle is a big deal. We see these amazing men speak to us twice a year from on high (Salt Lake City) with talks that inspire and enlighten us. Imagine getting to walk up to Bartholomew and shake his hand. They are celebrities to us.

Waiting in the hallway, I eavesdropped on a woman talking to some sister missionaries. She told them how she saw a light around Elder Christofferson as he spoke during the Saturday session, and she knew he was truly an Apostle called by God. This being her only opportunity probably for many years, she made sure to give him a hug. Well, if she could hug him, I thought, I could totally shake his hand. So I grabbed my companion and we went back to the chapel to get in line to shake his hand.

The line couldn't go fast enough. I felt my heart racing and I went as giddy as a schoolgirl, checking my hair, checking my clothes, checking my teeth. But soon enough, and in less than thirty minutes, I stood before him. He smiled, shook my hand, and said, "Sister Johnson. Where are you from?"

"Salt Lake City."

"I've been there before," he said a bit wryly.

And then he turned to my companion to move on to the next person. He asked her the same thing, and she being from Utah, he had a similar remark. I guess that's what happens when we both come from The Factory. In less than a minute, our opportunity to meet an Apostle had finished.

No special light. No incredible spiritual experience. Just a normal handshake from a patient man who was probably not looking forward to shaking everyone else's hand but who loved them enough to do so. 

My revelation of the night was that Elder Christofferson is a normal human being. In the grand scheme of things, he is no better or worse than you or me. Now don't get me wrong, I will be bragging about shaking his hand from now to the end of eternity.

I had the same revelation while I worked for Pioneer Theatre Company in Salt Lake. As part of the Concessions Staff, I had the chance to meet several of the actors, which was just awesome to me. I mean, they're actors! They were something other than human. It took me a few years and a chat with the actor who played the rebellious boyfriend in Next to Normal to change my perspective. We talked about the play and how sometimes it is hard for parents who have lost a child to watch. It's a play that hits a lot of hearts close to home. I may have made a friend for a minute too.

When God commanded us to not have any gods before him or to worship false idols, he may have wanted us to recognize that us humans are no better than one another too. We don't need to put other people up on pedestals and make each other unreachable. We don't need to compare; we just need to love.

Nobody Cares How Much You Know...

For three years in High School, I participated in the Debate Team. I loved it. Does that mean I argued with bunches of people? No, I'm terrible at it. I did Impromptu speeches, Orations, Storytelling, and Prose/Poetry readings. I basically talked a lot when I went to tournaments. I chickened out of actually debating with anyone, and I admired my teammates who could. I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about public speaking.

I may be biased because I spent three years surrounded by arguments, but I believe arguing is good for you.

Now, I know the word Argument has negative connotations. In order to keep everyone happy, many people avoid arguments and disagreements. I know from experience that arguments, if you understand what they are, can leave participants feeling satisfied, educated, and enlightened.

So, if you want to talk to someone about your two differing opinions, you have three options.

Argument

In an argument, both parties present their opinions and their reasoning for believing it and evidence for it. They also have an opportunity to ask critical questions about their opponent's stance and evidence, as well as time to defend themselves and respond to questions. Both parties have to come into an argument knowing the terms and conditions of this discussion, and end it without holding grudges or wanting to have the last say.

Fight

A fight is very different from an argument. A fight often happens unexpectedly or occurs when an argument's rules are violated. The tone and atmosphere is dark, negative, angry, defensive, and rushed. Instead of presenting evidence or asking fact based questions, participants attack the other side, the opponent's character, and the opponent's intelligence. It's about winning at all costs, even if that means they attack something that isn't the topic up for debate.

See. It's a table. (Visual pun!)

Discussion

But there is a third option. In a discussion, participants bring their opinions and ideas to the table, present them in a calm and fair atmosphere, and occasionally swallow their need to be right in order to listen to the other. Elder Zwick spoke about these kinds of communications. "The writer of Proverbs counsels, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). A "soft answer" consists of a reasoned response--disciplined words from a humble heart. It does not mean we never speak directly or that we compromise doctrinal truth. Words that may be firm in information can be soft in spirit."

My rule of thumb is religions are discussed, politicians have arguments, and the internet is for fights and flame wars. And blogs.

It is okay to have an argument, but it is a skill to hold yourself back while simultaneously defending your position. Jeffrey R. Holland said, "Defend your beliefs with courtesy and with compassion, but
defend them." We should not be afraid to bring up our beliefs in discussions and conversations because we have the skills and knowledge to present and convince others of them. We also have the Spirit on our side to help us keep an atmosphere of peace and love for others. More than anything, have charity for those you speak to, no matter who they are; no one will care how much you know if they don't know how much you care.

For further tips on discussing your beliefs, read this article from The New Era.

Remember: Sometimes there is a place for silence. Even Jesus held His tongue when He knew there was no purpose in speaking.