A Closet Full of Clothes

I heard lots of things about what I would experience coming home from my mission.

• I would get depressed because as a Returned Missionary, people wouldn't treat me special like when I had that missionary tag on my shoulder.
• I wouldn't know what to do with myself, especially without a companion and a schedule.
• I would have a hard time adjusting to all the new media I would now be allowed to listen to. (i.e. movies, radio, TV, internet...)

Instead, I just spent six weeks watching entire seasons of The Legend of Korra, Doctor Who, Arrow, and Studio C. If that doesn't say that I know how to get back into my old swing of things, I don't know what does.

Like this, but with more knit sweaters and Batman shirts.

What I did not realize I would have trouble with was my room. I came home with three suitcases and a shoulder bag, all stuffed to the brim with my entire life over the last eighteen months, minus some things I had to leave behind: bath towel, tennis shoes, and a sewing machine among others. When I went to put away my modest supply of clothes that kept me warm for the last year and a half, I met a completely full closet.

I didn't just take a section of my clothes out of my closet to accompany me on my mission. I bought new things before I left so I could be properly attired in my new role as a servant of the Lord. While I spent those eighteen months as a missionary in a completely different area of the country I knew, I added to that wardrobe with some finds at thrift stores and Goodwill. Now, I faced the task of merging the wardrobe that I used to have with the clothes that I was so used to wearing. I seriously feel completely comfortable doing chores and going about town in a skirt and a button-down blouse.

You can have these.

I couldn't put the two together because there was no room for both the old and the new. I tried, but shoving clothes back and forth gets incredibly tiring. So I had to cull my old wardrobe. This shirt was too small; I never wore that skirt anyway; I hate this hoodie so much; why is this blazer even in here? I ended up with several large piles of clothes that I managed to drag all the way to Deseret Industries: Utah's version of Goodwill.

My closet still has way more clothes than a human needs in its lifetime, but all my mission clothes fit. And that's what I wanted. I wanted the me of my mission, as expressed by the clothes I wore, to fit inside the space that represented the rest of me. I can't get rid of my Batman shirts, or the somewhat faded spandex Japanese color-fest shirt, or the hoodies that represent the organizations I once belonged to. That was me before my mission, and that will be me for a long time coming. But I spent eighteen months getting rid of the parts of me that I don't like. It only fits that I would do the same with my clothes. Not that any of my old clothes were bad; they were just worn out and not as good as some of my new wardrobe.

One of the piles of old clothes that I want to get rid of is this habit of wasting an entire days just watching Youtube videos, entire seasons of a TV show in a single day, or whatever I can find on Netflix. I don't want to keep spending all my time playing hidden object games when I could be doing something useful like writing a book or reading my scriptures. In fact, that is another one of my old habits I want to burn with fire: not reading the scriptures like I'm supposed to. I thought that after eighteen months of daily scripture study, this would be the easiest thing to keep doing, but it's not. I've failed so hard at it!

Thankfully, I have just gotten a new job at Deseret Book. Not only is it a great environment to foster my love of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but with a schedule, I will more than likely use my time more effectively. I do intend to get myself back into shape in terms of being productive, because there's nothing more I hate than old!me.

And remind me: I still need to ship Sis. Hillman a fork that I accidentally took home from Waycross, GA.

One Change Isn't Enough

I'm pretty good at the don'ts in the Word of Wisdom. Coffee, smoking, tea, drinking, illegal drugs, abuse of legal drugs -- I don't do any of that. But the Word of Wisdom has other things to follow. Early to bed, early to rise, eat meat sparingly, grains are good for you, eat your veggies, and when God says that you shall run and not be weary, I'm fairly sure that means he wants me to move around from time to time. These are things that I've not been too good at following.

And then I went on a mission. Suddenly, I have thirty minutes of required exercise every morning, I don't have time to snack on sugary things all day, and I'm blessed with companions that know how to eat a whole lot healthier than I do. My body started to feel a whole lot better and I even started to lose weight, which has never happened to me before.

I love these. I don't eat them anymore.

But then I plateaued. I wasn't getting better, and in some aspects, my health seemed to get worse. Another round of changes denied me regular use of sugary cereals and blessed me with high-fiber breakfasts: cracked wheat, homemade granola, ten-grain cereal. As I started cutting out a lot of sugar, my body felt happier. When I don't eat those things I'm supposed to, or have too much of the not-so-good for me, I know pretty quickly.

It was during one of these not-so-fun times that I had a heart-to-heart with my Heavenly Father.

"Heavenly Father!" I said. "I am doing so much better than I used to. I am exercising, I don't eat Marshmallow Mateys anymore, and I have never eaten so much cracked wheat in my entire life! Why do I still feel sick and tired?"

"Because there is more you can do."

"But I'm healthy now! Isn't this what healthy is?"

"Sister Johnson. When have you ever told your investigators that two or three changes is enough?"

Somewhat chastised, I said, "Never."

"I am happy for the changes that you have made, and I have given you blessings of health and strength. But there is always more you can do."

"Okay. Fine."

Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21 says, "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated-- And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated."

The better I obey a commandment, the better my blessings will be. My entire life, I will strive to find new ways to keep the commandments more exactly. I won't be perfect at them, especially the Word of Wisdom because Easter comes once a year and Cadbury Creme Eggs now come in packs of five. But I'm working on it. And that's the point.

What is a Liahona, and How Do I Use It?

The Liahona is a round ball of curious workmanship made of fine brass. It has two spindles that give direction to the reader. It can take one safely across a treacherous wilderness, towards sources of food, and across a raging ocean. Like a compass it gives direction, but with two major exceptions. First, it points to food and shelter, not just to the north. Second, it runs on faith and diligence or obedience. It can often be found outside of tent doors. And by often, I mean just once in recorded history.

Recalculating...

Lehi found the Liahona outside his tent on the ground one morning just before he and his family began on their trek through the wilderness to the promised land. For the next eight years, the Lehites followed a tool of divine inspiration to keep them alive. God didn't give them a map; He gave them a compass that led them day by day. When Lehi and his family lived righteously, it guided them through the more fertile parts of the wilderness. When they didn't and murmured and complained, such as when Nephi's bow broke or Laman and Lemuel's mutinied on board the boat, it stopped giving directions.

Also notable about the Liahona was the writing that would appear on it. The writing changed from time to time, chastened Lehi when he wasn't obedient, and gave them understanding concerning the word of the Lord. Nephi called this one of the small and simple ways the Lord works to bring about great things.

I'm going to take a break from Church...

This seemingly innocent statement belongs in the same category as:

"How will I know alcohol is bad if I don't try one beer?" 

"I'll just keep my eyes closed when bad parts of a movie come up. I'm mature enough for this."

"It's a family tradition to get a tattoo. Family is important."

"God doesn't need to hear me pray today. I'll pray tomorrow."

"Just this once, and then I'll repent."

"God will justify in committing a little sin."

This has been brought to you by The Gospel According to Satan.

Yes, it's true that God will forgive us if we truly repent, no matter how many times it takes for us to overcome our sin. Satan, however, takes this and manipulates it into, "So just give in one time and then repent. It only took Alma three days." There is danger in this mentality because when you surrender to temptation once, it's easier to surrender again, and again. Soon your'e back into old, sinful habits that you thought you had overcome, or into something completely new and wicked that you never thought you would be in.

Repeatedly in the scriptures, we are exhorted to be obedient, watchful, and diligent. Nephi taught, "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father; Ye shall have eternal life." 2 Nephi 31:20 

King Benjamin said, "But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not." Mosiah 4:30

These prophets, and others, know that it is easier on us to keep the commandments 100% of the time rather than 98% of the time. They want us to avoid the painful effects of sin at all costs. Obedience makes us happier in the long run. There is no temptation that is truly impossible to resist. So when you're faced with that temptation to miss church just once, remember that God's commandments are designed to make us happy for eternity.

Repent every day? I'm not THAT bad: A Guest Post by Sister Yates

What's all this talk about "Repent every day?"

Don't get offended by this common Mormon term.  It doesn't mean you're a sinner, sinful, awful person.  It simply means that we are all imperfect and need to change.

To clarify, repentance is:
 "...a change of mind, a fresh view about God, about oneself, and about the world. Since we are born into conditions of mortality, repentance comes to mean a turning of the heart and will to God, and a renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined. Without this there can be no progress in the things of the soul’s salvation, for all accountable persons are stained by sin and must be cleansed in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. Repentance is not optional for salvation; it is a commandment of God." (Repentance, Bible Dictionary)

As it says in the Bible Dictionary, repentance is a change of heart, opinion, life direction, etc.  It doesn't just mean you stop sinning.  Repentance is encouraged each day so we can continually be close to God, and the Holy Ghost so we can receive the guidance and direction needed to return to Heavenly Father.

Ask yourself: Am I someone the Holy Ghost can be around? Is there anything in my daily conduct that needs some improvement? With these questions in mind, don't be overly hard on yourself.  We all, no matter how long we've been Mormon, have room to improve on this.  We are not perfect, but the Lord has asked that we strive for perfection, and the only way we can even begin to achieve that is through repentance.

You may be wondering, "What do I need to repent of?" The world we live in is full of unclean things. We are told in Alma 11:37, "no unclean thing can live in the presence of God."  Therefore, we need to be mindful of things such as:
-Worldly Entertainment: "Would Christ feel comfortable with this music/TV show/ movie, etc.?"
-Vulgar Language: "Would I say that if Christ were in the room?"
-Gossip: "Would the Lord ever say that about any of His children?"
-Anger: "Would this situation be something God becomes angry about?"

These are just a few examples of everyday struggles and unclean things that we, as imperfect humans, need to over come.