3.1415926

In honor of Super Pi Day, I thought I would make the one and only (useless) definitive list of Chapter 3 Verse 14 that have ever existed in the Standard Works. Just because. You're welcome!

Book of Mormon

1 Nephi "But Laman fled out of his presence, and told the things which Laban had done, unto us. And we began to be exceedingly sorrowful, and my brethren were about to return unto my father in the wilderness."

2 Nephi "And thus prophesied Joseph, saying: Behold, that seer will the Lord bless; and they that seek to destroy him shall be confounded; for this promise, which I have obtained of the Lord, of the fruit of my loins, shall be fulfilled. Behold, I am sure of the fulfilling of this promise;"

Jacob "These plates are called the plates of Jacob, and they were made by the hand of Nephi. And I make an end of speaking these words."

Mosiah "Yet the Lord God saw that his people were a stiffnecked people, and he appointed unto them a law, even the law of Moses."

Alma "Thus the word of God is fulfilled, for these are the words which he said to Nephi: Behold, the Lamanites have I cursed, and I will set a mark on them that they and their seed may be separated from thee and thy seed, from this time henceforth and forever, except they repent of their wickedness and turn to me that I may have mercy upon them."

Helaman "But behold, a hundredth part of the proceedings of this people, yea, the account of the Lamanites and of the Nephites, and their wars, and contentions, and dissensions, and their preaching, and their prophecies, and their shipping and their building of ships, and their building of temples, and of synagogues and their sanctuaries, and their righteousness, and their wickedness, and their murders, and their robbings, and their plundering, and all manner of abominations and whoredoms, cannot be contained in this work."

3 Nephi "And he caused that fortifications should be built round about them, and the strength thereof should be exceedingly great. And he caused that armies, both of the Nephites and of the Lamanites, or of all them who were numbered among the Nephites, should be placed as guards round about to watch them, and to guard them from the robbers day and night."

Ether "Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe on my name; and they shall become my sons and my daughters."

Five Things In My Carry-on That Will Help Me Carry On

So, this is a post I've been carrying around for five months.

I was given the topic, "Carry on, carry on, carry on!" to speak on in church a week before I came home. I imagine Bishop Hood wanted me to talk about the song, but I was sneaky and just a little creative. In this world where we are still in a war of words and tumult of opinions, I need all the help I can get if I want to keep on the straight and narrow. These are five things that we can each carry around, if need be.

1. My Pedigree Chart

Adam West-ing the Scriptures

It's statistically proven that cats
are not trying to kill you.
(Study done by Felines Forever.)

There is a saying along the lines of, "You can find a statistic to prove anything." Statisticians would tell you, "There's a bad statistic to prove anything." Because with some bias and enough bad math, anything is possible.

We have something similar in the gospel. Prophets call it, "Wresting the Scriptures." I, personally, call it, "Adam West-ing the Scriptures." Let me explain.

Adam West played Batman in the 1960's television show of the same name, as well as on the cartoon Superfriends. He was so well known as Batman that he nearly became typecast. My favorite episode of Batman the Animated Series featured Adam West voicing an old actor who played the Gray Ghost. Watch it sometime. It makes my heart melt. Nowadays he voices the kooky Mayor Adam West on Family Guy. Don't watch that one.

Anyway... The episodes of Batman where the Riddler was the villain of the week, Batman would be presented with a riddle such as:

The Cat Sat on the Mat. Where am I?

I am Vengeance! I Am The Night! I Am Teancum!

Sometimes when you read the Book of Mormon, you discover fun things. Like Batman.

Okay, let's set the scene. We have the good guys, namely the Nephite army led by Captain Moroni, Helaman leading the band of Strippling Warriors, and Pahoran acting as Chief Judge over all the land of the Nephites. Over the last several years, they have fought the Lamanites in a bloody and ferocious war. Even worse, a group of Nephite dissenters, led by a man named Amalekiah, continually rile them up and incite hatred towards their former bretheren. The battles go on, the Lamanites taking one city, the Nephites decimating them and taking back their land, then the Lamanites take whole swath of cities. And the battles go on.

And sometimes you buy cereal because it has the Justice League on it.

For more details, read Alma 45-62

One of the great captains of the Nephite armies is Teancum. He is so skilled and decisive that when the Lamanites know a city is protected by him, they do not dare attack it. Teancum does not like the war and bloodshed the Lamanites have forced him into, but he stands firmly for the values set forth by the Title of Liberty. He will protect his country, his religion, his family, and sometimes he goes out of his way to do so. After one battle in Alma 51, he and a servant sneak over to the Lamanites' camp and seek out their leader, Amalekiah.

"And it came to pass that when the night had come, Teancum and his servant stole forth and went out by night, and went into the camp of Amalickiah; and behold, sleep had overpowered them because of their much fatigue, which was caused by the labors and heat of the day.

"And it came to pass that Teancum stole privily into the tent of the king, and put a javelin to his heart; and he did cause the death of the king immediately that he did not awake his servants." (Alma 51:33-34)

I'm not an academic sort of person. How do I study the scriptures?

Why don't we start a study session and work on this together? First we're going to need some materials. A Book of Mormon to start with.

Ah! Thank you!

Now we need a study journal.

This will do.

Let's get a clock as well.

I don't think Mom will mind if I borrow this.

And finally, a Spiritual Enlightenment Enhancement Device. It works best with the pointy end down.

Ooh! Let's pick the red one.

Okay. So. Let's set the clock for thirty minutes. If you don't have as much time, you can set it for 15 minutes. If you have loads of time, an hour could work. It's whatever fits with your schedule. And you do have to schedule it in. Pick a time in the day that will give you the best opportunity to learn. Why do we set a time limit rather than a chapter limit? you may ask. The Book of Mormon isn't a chapter book or a history textbook in the normal sense. We want to be led by the Spirit in what we study.

Speaking of, we need to start with a prayer too. Gotta invite the Holy Ghost.

We open our Book of Mormon, get out our journal, and have our colored pencil at the ready. Now we have two options: Study by the chapter, or study by the topic.

Study by Chapter
So you're OCD like me and would rather read in order, eh? That's cool. I like getting the full picture and being surprised by what I end up learning. I'm on 2 Nephi 32.

I may have gotten ahead of myself. SO MANY COLORS!!!!

As you read, underline or shade any words, phrases, or verses that you like or that stand out to you. There is no wrong way to highlight your scriptures. I use different colors to mean different things. You can start with just red and work your way up. Like, verse 3 is awesome. And verses 8 and 9 have some parts that make me want to pray more.

Study by Topic
Maybe you're feeling like Heavenly Father wants you to study a certain topic, like Humility. The Index has bunches of scriptures on that!

See?

Ether 12:27 looks good. Or how about Mosiah 3:19? I wonder what Alma 5:27 says? And if we look up pride, we can learn more about the opposite of humility and what not to do.

Now let's get a pen and put that blank paper to work. I guess you could use your pencil too. Maybe you can write down how Satan doesn't want you to pray, but Heavenly Father wants you to pray always. Or if you're studying about humility, write about how God has given us weaknesses to keep us humble, but that doesn't mean we're doomed to be weak.

Keep writing. Keep reading. Sometimes you'll read more than you write. Sometimes you'll write down more than you thought you read, and then some more. That's why we need to have the Spirit with us.

Our time is up, and you can get back to work. Now go about your day feeling far more refreshed and spiritually strong!

What is a Rameumptom? And Where Can I Get One?

I think we got ours from Shopko. Or Apostates-R-Us, I can't remember.

Alma the Younger went on a mission to a group of Nephites that had rejected the Church of Jesus Christ and dissented from the Nephites. They had followed the teachings of an anti-Christ called Korihor, and now worshiped an incorrect form of Deity due to their misunderstanding of the nature of God.

These people, the Zoramites, worshiped God once a week in their synagogues by standing on a pedestal in the center, raising their hands towards heaven, and 'praying' as loudly as they could,

"Holy, holy God; we believe that thou art God, and we believe that thou art holy, and that thou wast a spirit, and that thou art a spirit, and that thou wilt be a spirit forever. Holy God, we believe that thou hast separated us from our brethren; and we do not believe in the tradition of our brethren, which was handed down to them by the childishness of their fathers; but we believe that thou hast elected us to be thy holy children; and also thou hast made it known unto us that there shall be no Christ. But thou art the same yesterday, today, and forever; and thou hast elected us that we shall be saved, whilst all around us are elected to be cast by thy wrath down to hell; for the which holiness, O God, we thank thee; and we also thank thee that thou hast elected us, that we may not be led away after the foolish traditions of our brethren, which doth bind them down to a belief of Christ, which doth lead their hearts to wander far from thee, our God. And again we thank thee, O God, that we are a chosen and a holy people. Amen." Alma 31:15-18

They then went home and didn't think about God the rest of the week. They called this Holy Stand a Rameumptom.

An Illustration of How Not to Pray

The example of the Zoramites teaches us things not to do. First, don't pray with vain repetitions. I think vain has two meanings here. When we're vain, we think only of ourselves, and so our prayers are only about us. Vain can also be pointless or futile.  You know how when you say a word several times over, it stops making sense and loses it's meaning? Sometimes we do the same thing, praying exactly same prayer over and over again because we're stuck in a routine.

Second, our religion needs to be a part of our lives, not a once-every-seven-days thing. I bet if the Zoramites, with their incorrect notions of God and Christ, had remembered God in their day-to-day lives, they wouldn't have been quite so wicked. How blessed are we to have a fullness of the truth. Imagine how much closer to God you could be just by reading your scriptures every day and praying sincerely each morning and night.

See, if you lean on something, your
legs don't fall asleep.

Speaking of family prayer.... My family did have a Rameumptom. My Dad's cushioned rocking chair came with an ottoman. Mom would lean on it during our family prayer so her legs wouldn't go numb. Sometimes one of us kids would steal it instead if she didn't get it fast enough. We used the Rameumptom daily, tried our best not to use vain repetitions, and I'm pretty sure if we tried to stand on it and raise our arms towards heaven, we'd fall off and crack our heads open. So I'm not sure why we called it that.

The point is: Pray Sincerely. It's good for you.

What is a Liahona, and How Do I Use It?

The Liahona is a round ball of curious workmanship made of fine brass. It has two spindles that give direction to the reader. It can take one safely across a treacherous wilderness, towards sources of food, and across a raging ocean. Like a compass it gives direction, but with two major exceptions. First, it points to food and shelter, not just to the north. Second, it runs on faith and diligence or obedience. It can often be found outside of tent doors. And by often, I mean just once in recorded history.

Recalculating...

Lehi found the Liahona outside his tent on the ground one morning just before he and his family began on their trek through the wilderness to the promised land. For the next eight years, the Lehites followed a tool of divine inspiration to keep them alive. God didn't give them a map; He gave them a compass that led them day by day. When Lehi and his family lived righteously, it guided them through the more fertile parts of the wilderness. When they didn't and murmured and complained, such as when Nephi's bow broke or Laman and Lemuel's mutinied on board the boat, it stopped giving directions.

Also notable about the Liahona was the writing that would appear on it. The writing changed from time to time, chastened Lehi when he wasn't obedient, and gave them understanding concerning the word of the Lord. Nephi called this one of the small and simple ways the Lord works to bring about great things.

The Johnson Family has Scripture Study

"Kids! Scriptures!" Madre yells. I try to get one more minute out of my show, but she calls again. "We're waiting on you, Sister Johnson!"

8:56 p.m. on a school night, and somewhat close to bedtime. The murderer on CSI finally breaks down and starts giving his monologue on why he shot his mother. The final nail in his coffin and the twist is...

With a groan, I turn off the TV and drag myself upstairs to the living room where my family, plus a spare brother, sits in a circle with their scriptures open on their laps. Four teenage boys and mi Madre have crammed themselves into the biggest couch. No doubt my brothers fought over who would sit next to Madre. I sit down in my usual spot, the left side of the smaller couch next to my little sister Melissa. I left my triple combination on the armrest the night before, so I open it up to Alma 49.

Papa Johnson, cross-legged on the floor by the stereo speaker, flips through the pages for the chapter. "30 verses."

I quickly do the math in my head. "Four each, except two people get five."

"Looks like you're the Power Couch."

"Power Couch!" Melissa and I cheer. Then we high-five each other as hard as we can. My hand tingles for a few seconds afterwards as Papa Johnson starts reading about another war fought by Captain Moroni.

I don't think I receive revelation. Did God stop talking to me?

The Short Answer: Nope.

The Long Answer: Jesus Christ repeatedly tells us in the scriptures, "Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you." It's one of the only scriptures that is found in all of the standard works: the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the Doctrine and Covenants. The scripture that inspired Joseph Smith to ask Heavenly Father was James 1:5, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." Clearly Heavenly Father wants to give us all knowledge. The trick is to know how to listen.

A tool of communication.
Please don't text in church.

In a communication cycle, there is a sender, a message, and a recipient who sends feedback on the message received. The burden of understanding, or the one whose job it is to be understood, is on the sender. In this case, Heavenly Father sends us perfectly clear messages through the Holy Ghost. Our job, as receivers, is to be in tune and listening.

To be in tune, we have to be worthy of the Holy Ghost, for the Lord cannot dwell in unholy temples. To do that, we have to make sure we've repented of all our sins -- daily, preferably -- and are living righteously. We don't have to be perfect; we need to be worthy. A sign of our full repentance is that we can feel the Spirit again. We must also fill our lives with uplifting things, like scripture study, daily prayer, attending church, and keeping the commandments.

Then we listen. The voice of God is still and small, but sharp enough to pierce our souls. If we aren't listening carefully, we won't hear what the Spirit is telling us. Sometimes we need to be in a quiet room, at church, in the closet, or at the temple; someplace free from distractions and noise. Fasting can give you increased spiritual sensitivity.

When we hear our answer or receive an impression, we give God feedback. To do that, we write it down and act on it. This is exactly what the scriptures are. Revelation that isn't written down is easily forgotten. If we don't remember the revelation we're given, how can we do what Heavenly Father asked us to? And how can we expect to get more? Our diligence in handling revelation is how we show God our gratitude for the knowledge he's given us. When we've shown God that He can trust us with revelation, he will trust us with more.

Scriptures: A product of revelation.
Please don't text in church.

Soon we will find that we are getting more revelation than we thought possible. Doctrine and Covenants 121:33 says, "How long can rolling waters remain impure? What power shall stay the heavens? As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints." Are you ready for all that? It's going to be amazing.

Can I go shopping on Sunday?

The Short Answer: Ask God.

The Long Answer: Mormons make up a lot of little rules, and this isn't always a bad thing. They're personal commandments they follow so they can obey Jesus Christ more exactly. For instance, a lot of Mormons don't drink caffeine. The Word of Wisdom says not to have hot drinks, or Coffee and Tea. It doesn't say not to consume caffeine, but to keep from being addicted to anything, a lot of Mormons don't drink caffeinated drinks. At the same time, plenty of Mormons enjoy their Diet Coke. It's really a matter to discuss with the Lord.

In the same vein are the "Mormon Prohibited Sunday Activities:" working, shopping, housework, sports, movies, etc. The list can go on. Anything that can be done on any other day of the week and that could detract from the Spirit should be avoided. Of course, sometimes you have to go into work one Sunday, or your kid has a cold so you have to run into the store and grab some cough syrup. These situations are understandable, but they shouldn't become habits. Try as best as you can to not work on Sundays. At the very least, try to make it to church.

The better question to ask is, "What should I do on Sundays?" Go to church, visit your family, visit the sick or elderly, do service, go to a fireside, study the scriptures, watch an uplifting movie, etc. Anything that will help you remember our Savior and feel closer to the Spirit. There are many blessings that come from keeping the Sabbath Day holy, and we want you to fully enjoy all of them.

What are some good Sabbath Day activities you enjoy?

How to Write a Talk

Uh oh. The Bishop just asked you to give a talk next week in Sacrament Meeting. From the sound of every Sacrament Talk Ever, this is something most people avoid. You're not a public speaker. Why couldn't the Bishop have asked Brother Smith who has something to say for every question in the Gospel Doctrines class?

Relax. This doesn't have to be a big deal. Almost no one who gives a talk in Sacrament Meeting is an experienced public speaker. I took debate for three years to gain some confidence to speak at church, and I still get nervous. However, as long as you are prepared, the Spirit will fill your mouth and you will touch the hearts of everyone in the congregation.

Step One: Identify your Topic
   This is usually pretty easy because the Bishop just gives it to you. If the Bishop gave you free reign, pray about it. If he gave you a talk to speak on, boil it down to one or two words. Then take some time to meditate on it.

Step Two: Research
    This step should take most of your time. Spend a few hours or days just doing research on your topic.
Scriptures
Church Magazines
LDS.org for basically everything else
True to the Faith is a great resource for simplified definitions of gospel topics.
Preach My Gospel can help a lot too.

Step Three: Write an Outline
    This is just like writing an essay. Remember how you thought, "I've graduated from school. I'll never have to write another essay ever again!" Well, you were sadly mistaken.
     The ward loves to hear your personal experiences, so don't avoid using them because you think you're boring. You are awesome and unique and stuff. Your experiences helped build your testimony, so use them.
     This is my favorite outline. Change up the order or add/delete stuff as needed.

Introduce yourself and your topic

Point One

     -Scripture

     -Quote from a talk

     -Personal experience

Point Two

     -Scripture

     -Quote from a talk

     -Personal experience

Point Three

     -Scripture

     -Quote from a talk

     -Personal experience

Close with Testimony on topic

Step Four: Flesh it Out (optional)
    Some people like to speak from an outline. I do not. I like to write out my essay/talk/oration. The more research you've done, the easier this will be. The better you understand your topic, the simpler you will be in explaining it.

Step Five: Practice on your Cat
     Your cat will judge you far more than the ward will. Practicing will help you get out some of your jitters.

-or-

Step Five: Practice on an Unsuspecting Non-Member Friend

     Why not do some missionary work while you're working on your talk? Practice on a trusted friend who won't be mean, but can give you some constructive criticism.

Step Six: Give a Masterful Talk in Sacrament Meeting that goes Better Than Expected

     Prepare yourself for all of the compliments you will receive from the ward. It's not just an assignment; you have helped them feel spiritually uplifted.

-or-

Step Six: Ignore Your Outline or Pre-Written Talk Entirely as You Follow the Spirit When You Speak

     This happens to me more than I thought it would. It's entirely possible for the Spirit to give your talk for you, but you have to have something prepared and have done some of the work.

Congratulations! That wasn't too painful, was it? As an added bonus, you've learned far more about this particular topic than you ever thought you would. Teaching is one of the best ways to learn about any gospel topic. That's probably why Heavenly Father has us give talks in Sacrament meeting.