Yes.

A few weeks ago, I got my Temple recommend renewed. (Yay!)

Working for the Church News has given me a unique insight into the inner workings of the Church, a lot of background information on our Church leaders that generally doesn't get shared, and a greater awareness of the events of the Church and the world. (Payson Temple Dedication coming up! Woo hoo!) "Don't let working for the Church News affect your testimony," has been said to me more than once.

Why? Because I can see how every person in this Church is human and subject to all the weaknesses and frailties of men. All of them. Physical. Mental. Possibly spiritual, but probably on a different level than all of us. I can see how someone could be blindsided by these revelations if they had mistakenly placed the Apostles on a golden pedestal.

What I am learning from meeting Seventies, General Auxiliary leaders and Apostles? Each time I get to shake their hand, the Spirit confirms to me that this mortal man or woman has been called of God to fulfill this job. They're not perfect, but they are worthy.

Thankfully, that's the same requirement I have to get into the temple. I'm not perfect. I'm so not perfect that I was scared to even ask my Bishop for a Temple Recommend interview. Fortunately, he's the one who checked up on me.

Saying, "Yes." felt really good. "Yes." with a period — not a question mark, not an ellipsis preceding it, not a pair of quotation marks around it to indicate I've taken it from someone else. I know that President Monson has been called by God to lead the Church. I sustain the First Presidency, Quorum of the Twelve and all other General Authorities and Auxiliaries.

And yes. I am worthy to enter the temple.

I felt so good that I immediately went to Deseret Book and bought a shiny new Temple Recommend holder
and learned how to spell 'recommend.'

Broken Flower

On Tuesday, March 24, on my way to the Assembly Hall, I came across a yellow pansy on the sidewalk. The groundskeepers had probably broken it off when they walked around the flowers to trim the bushes surrounding the Triad Center. I picked it up and carried it with me for a while, brushing the dirt off it and moving the petals back to their original place. Scuffed and marred, the flower still had some beauty to it.

Admittedly, the first thing I thought of when I held the pansy was of a documentary called India's Daughter, about a woman, Nirbhaya, who was gang raped on a bus in New Dehli while coming home from seeing The Life of Pi. She was so brutally tortured that she died of her injuries a few days later. One of the most stunning things about that documentary are the interviews with the men defending her attackers. ML Sharma, defense lawyer for the four rapists, said, "A female is just like a flower. It gives a good-looking, very softness performance, pleasant. But on the other hand, a man is just like a thorn. Strong, tough enough. That flower always needs protection. If you put that flower in a gutter, it is spoilt. If you put that flower in a temple, it will be worshipped." Attached to this metaphor is a stigma that when a woman is raped, she loses her value permanently and ultimately deserved it.

I don't like those guys. I also don't like anyone that thinks that women are objects. Anyway...

Sometimes I feel like this pansy that has been ripped off and stepped on, except I feel like I have done the damage myself —that I've smashed the flower into the pavement with a sledgehammer, ground it into a pulp with my heel and spat on it for good measure. Worthless. Permanently damaged. Good for nothing but compost.

Let's just say that the guilt that accompanies sin really sucks. Especially when you feel like you can't get away from the sin no matter what you do or how hard you try.

3.1415926

In honor of Super Pi Day, I thought I would make the one and only (useless) definitive list of Chapter 3 Verse 14 that have ever existed in the Standard Works. Just because. You're welcome!

Book of Mormon

1 Nephi "But Laman fled out of his presence, and told the things which Laban had done, unto us. And we began to be exceedingly sorrowful, and my brethren were about to return unto my father in the wilderness."

2 Nephi "And thus prophesied Joseph, saying: Behold, that seer will the Lord bless; and they that seek to destroy him shall be confounded; for this promise, which I have obtained of the Lord, of the fruit of my loins, shall be fulfilled. Behold, I am sure of the fulfilling of this promise;"

Jacob "These plates are called the plates of Jacob, and they were made by the hand of Nephi. And I make an end of speaking these words."

Mosiah "Yet the Lord God saw that his people were a stiffnecked people, and he appointed unto them a law, even the law of Moses."

Alma "Thus the word of God is fulfilled, for these are the words which he said to Nephi: Behold, the Lamanites have I cursed, and I will set a mark on them that they and their seed may be separated from thee and thy seed, from this time henceforth and forever, except they repent of their wickedness and turn to me that I may have mercy upon them."

Helaman "But behold, a hundredth part of the proceedings of this people, yea, the account of the Lamanites and of the Nephites, and their wars, and contentions, and dissensions, and their preaching, and their prophecies, and their shipping and their building of ships, and their building of temples, and of synagogues and their sanctuaries, and their righteousness, and their wickedness, and their murders, and their robbings, and their plundering, and all manner of abominations and whoredoms, cannot be contained in this work."

3 Nephi "And he caused that fortifications should be built round about them, and the strength thereof should be exceedingly great. And he caused that armies, both of the Nephites and of the Lamanites, or of all them who were numbered among the Nephites, should be placed as guards round about to watch them, and to guard them from the robbers day and night."

Ether "Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe on my name; and they shall become my sons and my daughters."

Five Things In My Carry-on That Will Help Me Carry On

So, this is a post I've been carrying around for five months.

I was given the topic, "Carry on, carry on, carry on!" to speak on in church a week before I came home. I imagine Bishop Hood wanted me to talk about the song, but I was sneaky and just a little creative. In this world where we are still in a war of words and tumult of opinions, I need all the help I can get if I want to keep on the straight and narrow. These are five things that we can each carry around, if need be.

1. My Pedigree Chart

The Clock King

"Valerie, where have you been? You've missed all of January and now February is nearly out!" —Y'all. Probably.

I know guys. I got a new job.

See? I'm employed.

I started an internship with the LDS Church News at the start of January. I can tell you it's been one major learning experience after another. One of the biggest things I've learned is that I will probably never have a start to a new job as awkward as this one.

The other thing is that the Lord has perfect timing.

From 2008 to 2012, I studied Mass Communication at the University of Utah. This degree covers things like new media, PR, advertising and my least favorite of all subjects: journalism. Oh, how I hated calling up complete strangers, asking them personal questions, expecting them to give me their time for my benefit. It didn't help that my previous forays into journalism — the high school year book (Olympus 2007-08) — were less than self-confidence boosting and made me hate all aspects of the art with a deep self-loathing. I just can't be a journalist, I concluded. So I did an emphasis in strategic communication so I could just do advertising for the rest of my life.

Then I went on a mission where I talked to complete strangers, asked them deep and often personal questions, and asked them to give me a bit of their time so we could help them spend eternity with their families.

So I came back home a freshly Returned Missionary and Unemployed Bum and searched for work. After a two-month stint at Deseret Book, I landed an internship at the Church News. I had an awkward first week of work (They weren't expecting me to come in until the next week... They let me stay... I don't want to repeat that experience.) and then got right to the stuff I hated.

Journalism.

Fern Nichols with pictures of her family

Well, specifically interviewing people. Covering a devotional isn't that bad because you don't have to talk to anyone. Doing a profile on an adorable, sweet old lady who has been giving tours at the Church Office Building for the past ten years? Terrifying.

Walking up to Fern Nichols' door, I felt like a greenie missionary once again stepping up to a stranger's door to knock on it, except this time without a companion. What am I going to ask? What if she doesn't like me? What if I don't get enough quotable stuff for a story? What if there is no story here?

I just want everyone to know that this woman here is the sweetest lady named Fern I've ever met. Also the easiest hard-of-hearing woman I've ever talked to. Did you know she doesn't dye her hair, still drives her own car, and lives basically independently. She's also a joy to talk to and learn about her life. It felt just like talking to all the old, beautiful, sassy Southern women I met in Florida and Georgia. I left with a bounce in my step and a story in my head.

What in the heck happened? I wondered. I distinctly remember nearly sabotaging my own grades in my journalism classes because I kept putting off doing interviews, as well as doing enough of them. This is a completely different person, one who likes journalism. One who wants to be a journalist.

The answer is, of course, Heavenly Father and His perfect timing. God knows me perfectly, and He knows I like things compartmentalized. I was not going to consider stopping school to go on a mission because I wanted to go until I was done. Fine by Him. At the end of my schooling, I felt a need to go on a mission. So I applied. I may have procrastinated turning in my papers and getting my thesis done, but I applied.

My life has gone 1. school 2. mission 3. career 4.? 5. marriage 6. profit (skip steps 4-6).

I don't know what would have happened if I had gone in a different order, but that's the way things had to work out. If I had not been obedient and gone on a mission, I would not have learned the things I needed to in order to be a happy, willing journalist. It wasn't just being obedient and going, but I had to strive for obedience my entire mission, meaning I had to open my mouth and talk to everyone. I wasn't perfect, which is why I was continually striving, but the point is I keep working on it.

I still feel a bit of hesitation picking up the phone and calling a stranger to ask them for their life's story, but I feel much more confident now. Far more than if I had gone straight from school to work.

The Lord says in Doctrine and Covenants 82:10, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

Additionally, King Benjamin taught in Mosiah 2:41, "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

Be obedient, yo. Now go out and find me a story.

And remember: the Church News comes with the Deseret News on Saturdays and the Deseret News National Edition. You should totally sign up for one of them if you haven't already.

You're going to ask me what I've been doing for the Church News, so here it is: I covered this devotional, did a profile on a 99 year old lady, did a follow-up to a Martin Luther King Jr. Day event, summed up a forum at BYU with the president of Pixar, got on the cover with a story on the Family Tree Center, did another profile on a 100 year old lady, wrote this moment on missionary work and have a story coming up on a group — not a branch — that meets on Catalina Island. I've also taken some press releases and made them fit to print.

A Paralysis of Paper

I have a bookshelf. I also have a lot of books. I also have lots of binders and folders and files with papers in them. During my culling of my closet, I also had a go at the bookshelves and ended up with one of these:

A box o' books for my favorite Julia who lives in Georgia.

I sent these to a girl who will probably have devoured these by now. Oddly enough, even after doing this, I still had no room in my bookcase. So I had another go at the bookshelves, attacking the worst of the offenders: papers...

PAPERSSSZZZ!!!!garbleblarghyblargh....

Fitting In With The EMZ Crew

So, I do Zumba now.

Early Morning Zumba, also known as EMZ, is exactly what it says on the tin. We meet at 5:30 a.m. five days a week. This makes it convenient for those of us who have to work. It's also a completely free community service offered to whoever wants to show up. Sinai Pauni founded EMZ back in 2010 as a way to practice teaching Zumba. It eventually evolved into the community it has now. None of the instructors are paid to come every morning, set up the music, and provide an entertaining workout for the day. EMZ has attracted lots of faithful followers who have just as much enthusiasm for the program as the instructors.

I'm the one with the Batgirl shirt.

I started attending EMZ about a week or so after I came home from my mission. I needed something to keep me on a schedule. Apparently waking up at 5, much earlier than I ever did on my mission, was exactly that thing. As an added bonus, I am losing weight, feeling healthier, and experiencing more energy than ever before. Exercise does tend to do that to you.

But some days I just really don't want to go to Zumba. And yet I go.

I don't really know why. I remember one morning getting out of bed and feeling so physically tired that I felt sick and unable to move my body. But I went anyway. Other mornings, sleep just feels so darn good and I do not want to get out of my warm, snuggly bed. But when my alarm goes off, and then the snooze alarm finally wakes me up, I get dressed and head out the door.

When first started going to Zumba, I felt out of place and self conscious as a white newcomer among a veteran crowd of women, at least half of whom are Polynesian, the other half Hispanic. I knew everyone would judge my dancing and ability to follow the instructors, which I messed up on a lot. Finding a place on the gym floor that no one had claimed proved doable, but somewhat difficult. I eventually settled at the middle of the free throw line on the right side of the gym.

What really set them apart from me and my family, though, didn't have anything to do with skin tone or cultural background. A culture had developed in those years before I started attending -- one where everyone came to class with an enthusiasm I just don't understand. They shout along with the songs, run up to the stage to participate with the instructors, and several come wearing matching shirts, costumes, or accessories. In short, they are just so freaking happy and I don't get it.

We didn't plan this.

Slowly, I'm coming to have more fun with going to Zumba. I haven't made any friends there yet, but I now go on stage when the instructors ask me to participate. I even jump into group pictures and wore a costume to the Halloween party. (Shoulder Angel from Studio C.) I'm still not as crazy as all the other attendees and volunteers, and I probably never will be. I don't feel the need to document my exercising with photos and videos that I immediately post on Facebook. But I also don't mind trying to have fun while I'm attempting to move my hips as fluidly as Sinai does.

I would liken this to coming to church every Sunday, and even beginning a habit of church attendance for new converts. It's weird walking into a new group of people that you don't know, but you intend to get to know. It will be impossible to just jump in like you know what you're doing already and not make mistakes. The only way to learn the rules to the established culture is to keep exposing yourself to them. That means you have to keep coming, even on those days that you really don't want to be there. Those days suck, but you have to push through it to get the real payoff that comes weeks later.

It's the happiness. Why are those Mormons, and the EMZ crew, so freaking happy? The same reason: Living the gospel brings true joy. Whether it's keeping the Sabbath day holy or living the Word of Wisdom, consistently working towards true principles brings lasting happiness, more than anything else that gives instant, fleeting gratification.

Wait, going to Zumba is part of the gospel? In Doctrine and Covenants 130: 20-21, it's explained that, "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated -- And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." Taking care of our bodies is a commandment from God. So [regular attendance to EMZ]+[consuming healthy food]=Blessings!

If you'd like to join us early in the morning, Monday through Friday, EMZ meets at the Stake Center at 961 W Fremont Ave. (1122 South), Salt Lake City, UT 84104.

And remember: For an easier time getting up in the morning, do not argue with the alarm clock. Snooze buttons kill.

K Thnks; Gimme

This year, I celebrated my first Thanksgiving home with my family. More importantly, I also celebrated my first time ever getting involved in Black Friday first hand in retail. I must say, I enjoyed the experience.

The Greatest Place on Earth

I began working at Deseret Book at the start of November, and for someone who just got home from her mission, it is the best ever job an RM could have ever. Not only am I working and on a regular schedule, but I'm also surrounded by the words of prophets, Apostles, great teachers, and fantastic authors, as well as Lion House rolls. Who wouldn't want to buy the entire store? My first book was The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox. Please imagine me skipping home with joy to show off my new find.

We, of course, have customers that feel the same. With products that uplift and enrich, who wouldn't feel the Spirit in our store?

With Black Friday looming in the near future earlier this week, I pondered on what our crowds would be like. I would be working from 7:30 to 3 that day, meaning I would have to sell our Doorbusters. Such amazing prices, such amazing products -- would there be a line at our doors before I even got to work? Would there be people fighting over the last copy of Reedeemer before the $9.99 price ended at noon? Would I have customers yelling at me because we ran out of Shadow Box Advent Calendars again?

Nope, nope, nope, and we didn't run out of anything important. Sure it was busy, but I had more fun working on Black Friday than I did trying to shop later that day.

Now, apart from our store being smaller than Walmart, I think the lack of insanity had to do with our most unique feature. This store is one of the few that has the Spirit in it. I don't just feel happy every day working at Deseret Book because I'm helping customers find products that they love. The greatest joy I feel is when I hear, "Can you help me find a gift for a [pick an age]-year-old who is getting baptized this weekend?" or, "I need a book that can help me understand the Book of Mormon." Our products aren't just about worldly happiness; they're about spiritual happiness and fulfillment.

Pictured: Not Deseret Book

Despite the true happiness that can be found here, I have no doubt that most people swarmed Walmart and Macy's on Black Friday, desperately searching for the scraps of temporary happiness found in getting a great deal on a TV or a pile of Christmas gifts. Maybe they don't know about Deseret Book. Maybe they love that rush of excitement over lasting peace. Maybe the meaning of Thanksgiving is being lost in the madness of ridiculous discounts.

Whatever the reason, I would hope that wherever one goes on Black Friday, they would not forget to be grateful for what they already have, even if they're shopping for more things for themselves or others.

And remember: One of the love languages is receiving or giving gifts. Don't feel bad if that's one of your favorite ways to show love. It's my favorite too.

A Closet Full of Clothes

I heard lots of things about what I would experience coming home from my mission.

• I would get depressed because as a Returned Missionary, people wouldn't treat me special like when I had that missionary tag on my shoulder.
• I wouldn't know what to do with myself, especially without a companion and a schedule.
• I would have a hard time adjusting to all the new media I would now be allowed to listen to. (i.e. movies, radio, TV, internet...)

Instead, I just spent six weeks watching entire seasons of The Legend of Korra, Doctor Who, Arrow, and Studio C. If that doesn't say that I know how to get back into my old swing of things, I don't know what does.

Like this, but with more knit sweaters and Batman shirts.

What I did not realize I would have trouble with was my room. I came home with three suitcases and a shoulder bag, all stuffed to the brim with my entire life over the last eighteen months, minus some things I had to leave behind: bath towel, tennis shoes, and a sewing machine among others. When I went to put away my modest supply of clothes that kept me warm for the last year and a half, I met a completely full closet.

I didn't just take a section of my clothes out of my closet to accompany me on my mission. I bought new things before I left so I could be properly attired in my new role as a servant of the Lord. While I spent those eighteen months as a missionary in a completely different area of the country I knew, I added to that wardrobe with some finds at thrift stores and Goodwill. Now, I faced the task of merging the wardrobe that I used to have with the clothes that I was so used to wearing. I seriously feel completely comfortable doing chores and going about town in a skirt and a button-down blouse.

You can have these.

I couldn't put the two together because there was no room for both the old and the new. I tried, but shoving clothes back and forth gets incredibly tiring. So I had to cull my old wardrobe. This shirt was too small; I never wore that skirt anyway; I hate this hoodie so much; why is this blazer even in here? I ended up with several large piles of clothes that I managed to drag all the way to Deseret Industries: Utah's version of Goodwill.

My closet still has way more clothes than a human needs in its lifetime, but all my mission clothes fit. And that's what I wanted. I wanted the me of my mission, as expressed by the clothes I wore, to fit inside the space that represented the rest of me. I can't get rid of my Batman shirts, or the somewhat faded spandex Japanese color-fest shirt, or the hoodies that represent the organizations I once belonged to. That was me before my mission, and that will be me for a long time coming. But I spent eighteen months getting rid of the parts of me that I don't like. It only fits that I would do the same with my clothes. Not that any of my old clothes were bad; they were just worn out and not as good as some of my new wardrobe.

One of the piles of old clothes that I want to get rid of is this habit of wasting an entire days just watching Youtube videos, entire seasons of a TV show in a single day, or whatever I can find on Netflix. I don't want to keep spending all my time playing hidden object games when I could be doing something useful like writing a book or reading my scriptures. In fact, that is another one of my old habits I want to burn with fire: not reading the scriptures like I'm supposed to. I thought that after eighteen months of daily scripture study, this would be the easiest thing to keep doing, but it's not. I've failed so hard at it!

Thankfully, I have just gotten a new job at Deseret Book. Not only is it a great environment to foster my love of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but with a schedule, I will more than likely use my time more effectively. I do intend to get myself back into shape in terms of being productive, because there's nothing more I hate than old!me.

And remind me: I still need to ship Sis. Hillman a fork that I accidentally took home from Waycross, GA.

I Know I Don't Deserve This, But...

There are some days that I really don't deserve the blessings I'm asking for.

Two weeks before I came home, a miracle happened: Rebecca got baptized on September 7th, 2014! That wonderful baptism service did not go off without a hitch, though. The night before she was to be baptized, my companion and I got a call from her saying that the sister who volunteered to give a talk on the Gift of the Holy Ghost had suddenly gotten strep throat and would not make it.

No biggie. I told them I would be glad to give the talk instead.

So the next morning came, as did our regular study time. I had an hour to myself to study for that talk, and I didn't do that. Then we went to church, and I had some downtime before Sacrament Meeting, and I didn't write down any notes at that time either. I think I finally panicked during Relief Society, or in other words, one hour before the baptism.

And so I found myself praying for some help. It went something along the lines of, "Heavenly Father, I know I don't deserve this, but I really want to give a good talk for Rebecca's baptism, and the only way that will happen is with your help. That's the only way I've ever been able to give good talks."

Don't worry; the talk only had to be about five minutes, and I had some good material I stole, uh, borrowed from Preach My Gospel, so it went pretty well. I also know for sure that if I hadn't asked for help, I would have stood up there for five minutes stammering and making a fool of myself.

While we have to do all the work we can in order to get the blessings we most want, ocassionaly God has some mercy on us and forgives our mortal weaknesses. We are His children after all, and I saw for myself that He does want to bless us. I also learned for myself the importance of being prepared and not procrastinating, because I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father isn't going to let me get away with that again.

The Ten Commandments ... And a Few Others

Tithing, Word of Wisdom, Law of Chastity, Praying, Reading... Man, the missionaries sure teach a lot of commandments. Weren't there only supposed to be ten?

Not to worry! We can use the Ten Commandments, and our fingers like Primary Children, to remember them all.

1. No Other Gods

Just the one.

Thou shalt have no other gods before me. -- Exodus 20:3

We are commanded to worship God, our Father in heaven, and no one else. Not our money, not a celebrity, not our jobs. God is our priority. Everything Jesus  Christ did was done to glorify the Father; so it should be for us.

The way we worship god is to pray always to Him. Alma taught, "Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day."

"Those Girls are on Bikes in Dresses!"

Do you ever feel so self conscious and think that everyone thinks you're weird? As a Mormon, you may have experienced this as lots of people think it's funny that we don't drink tea or coffee, wear sleeveless shirts, watch Rated-R movies, or go out to lunch after church. Not to worry, I can help!*

Recently, my companion and I, as well as all other missionaries in my mission, have been instructed to purchase bicycles. And then use them. For Elders, this is all well and good. Everyone is already used to seeing the boys on bikes, dressed in white shirts and ties. What they are not used to seeing is this:

Skirts; they are not conducive to bike riding.

While we may look a tiny bit silly, I have not felt all that weird putting on a helmet and biking around town. I know for a fact that my lovely companion sure has. Sure, we get the occasional snickers and double takes and, "Those girls are on bikes in dresses!" remarks, but I have yet to be embarrassed. Of course, I have not turfed it yet while riding and made a complete fool out of myself. Currently, I am a partial fool. And I'm fine with that.

See, three years ago, I learned a great lesson about reducing your embarrassment. I had found myself able to get two helium filled balloons for free. So, I decided the best use of them would be to carry them around the University of Utah campus while I went to my normal class schedule from 9 to 5 the day before my 22nd birthday. They were lilac and teal and I loved them. Most mature adults don't carry around balloons; more often than not, I sold colorful balloons to small children. Naturally, I should have been shrinking into a ball of embarrassment.

I started my day by stopping at the Union Services Desk and picking up my balloons from my dear friend Kim. Then I took them to American Literature, each of my succeeding classes, and the lunchroom in the Marriott Library. Now while I fully expected many people to ask me, "Why do you have those balloons?" no one actually did until I was standing around in the lunchroom waiting for my pizza to cook. And when I said, "My birthday's tomorrow," he didn't really care. 

I think what made everyone around me act normal was the fact that I acted like it is a completely normal thing to have two balloons tied to your wrist. Maybe they did think I was weird, but I didn't feel like they did.

We can do the same thing in most any other situation. Our confidence is what gives us strength, and if we, "Cast not away therefore [our] confidence, which hath great recompense of reward," we'll be fine. (Hebrews 10:35) In fact, we'll see great results, especially if we keep our confidence in The Lord.

Why does the Lord want to be confident? Because the other option is to be afraid.

Don't do that.

Remember, if you get the high-float, they say the balloons will last longer, but you can't take them outside. That's no fun.

*In the case of legitimate Social Phobia or Anxiety, please see you nearest licensed therapist. LDS Family Services has some good ones.

Prove It

I've been blasted with Anti-Mormon material before. I've read into the arguments of Atheists. I've heard Baptists and Pentecostals and others interpret interesting things out of the Bible. All of it would have me doubt all the claims my church makes and think that they're all unsubstantiated.

I'm human. I've let the doubts creep in. I've also had to forcibly banish the doubts away. Satan tries to twist the things I know most often when I read the Book of Mormon. I'll come across something like 1 Nephi 1:3

"And I know that the record which I make is true..."

"I summarized 1,000 years of history,
and it is true."

"Well of course Joseph Smith would put that in if he was trying to convince everyone that the Book of Mormon is true," Satan says.

Not wanting to let that sit, I argue back, "Well Nephi being a prophet and knowing we would doubt his record obviously felt the need to testify that his own words were true."

"That doesn't prove it true."

"That doesn't prove it false either."

And so these statements of prophets testifying of the Book of Mormon's validity sat funny in my head. I set them aside and moved on, as you do with things you don't understand yet.

The Day I Met D. Todd, Who Has Been to Utah

The other day, I got to meet D. Todd Christofferson.

Saturday was Stake Conference for the Kingsland, GA Stake. Two General Authorities came to visit because the Stake Presidency got reorganized. They were Elder Larry S. Catcher of the Seventy and Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. To Mormons, as some of you may know, meeting an apostle is a big deal. We see these amazing men speak to us twice a year from on high (Salt Lake City) with talks that inspire and enlighten us. Imagine getting to walk up to Bartholomew and shake his hand. They are celebrities to us.

Waiting in the hallway, I eavesdropped on a woman talking to some sister missionaries. She told them how she saw a light around Elder Christofferson as he spoke during the Saturday session, and she knew he was truly an Apostle called by God. This being her only opportunity probably for many years, she made sure to give him a hug. Well, if she could hug him, I thought, I could totally shake his hand. So I grabbed my companion and we went back to the chapel to get in line to shake his hand.

The line couldn't go fast enough. I felt my heart racing and I went as giddy as a schoolgirl, checking my hair, checking my clothes, checking my teeth. But soon enough, and in less than thirty minutes, I stood before him. He smiled, shook my hand, and said, "Sister Johnson. Where are you from?"

"Salt Lake City."

"I've been there before," he said a bit wryly.

And then he turned to my companion to move on to the next person. He asked her the same thing, and she being from Utah, he had a similar remark. I guess that's what happens when we both come from The Factory. In less than a minute, our opportunity to meet an Apostle had finished.

No special light. No incredible spiritual experience. Just a normal handshake from a patient man who was probably not looking forward to shaking everyone else's hand but who loved them enough to do so. 

My revelation of the night was that Elder Christofferson is a normal human being. In the grand scheme of things, he is no better or worse than you or me. Now don't get me wrong, I will be bragging about shaking his hand from now to the end of eternity.

I had the same revelation while I worked for Pioneer Theatre Company in Salt Lake. As part of the Concessions Staff, I had the chance to meet several of the actors, which was just awesome to me. I mean, they're actors! They were something other than human. It took me a few years and a chat with the actor who played the rebellious boyfriend in Next to Normal to change my perspective. We talked about the play and how sometimes it is hard for parents who have lost a child to watch. It's a play that hits a lot of hearts close to home. I may have made a friend for a minute too.

When God commanded us to not have any gods before him or to worship false idols, he may have wanted us to recognize that us humans are no better than one another too. We don't need to put other people up on pedestals and make each other unreachable. We don't need to compare; we just need to love.

Nobody Cares How Much You Know...

For three years in High School, I participated in the Debate Team. I loved it. Does that mean I argued with bunches of people? No, I'm terrible at it. I did Impromptu speeches, Orations, Storytelling, and Prose/Poetry readings. I basically talked a lot when I went to tournaments. I chickened out of actually debating with anyone, and I admired my teammates who could. I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about public speaking.

I may be biased because I spent three years surrounded by arguments, but I believe arguing is good for you.

Now, I know the word Argument has negative connotations. In order to keep everyone happy, many people avoid arguments and disagreements. I know from experience that arguments, if you understand what they are, can leave participants feeling satisfied, educated, and enlightened.

So, if you want to talk to someone about your two differing opinions, you have three options.

Argument

In an argument, both parties present their opinions and their reasoning for believing it and evidence for it. They also have an opportunity to ask critical questions about their opponent's stance and evidence, as well as time to defend themselves and respond to questions. Both parties have to come into an argument knowing the terms and conditions of this discussion, and end it without holding grudges or wanting to have the last say.

Fight

A fight is very different from an argument. A fight often happens unexpectedly or occurs when an argument's rules are violated. The tone and atmosphere is dark, negative, angry, defensive, and rushed. Instead of presenting evidence or asking fact based questions, participants attack the other side, the opponent's character, and the opponent's intelligence. It's about winning at all costs, even if that means they attack something that isn't the topic up for debate.

See. It's a table. (Visual pun!)

Discussion

But there is a third option. In a discussion, participants bring their opinions and ideas to the table, present them in a calm and fair atmosphere, and occasionally swallow their need to be right in order to listen to the other. Elder Zwick spoke about these kinds of communications. "The writer of Proverbs counsels, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). A "soft answer" consists of a reasoned response--disciplined words from a humble heart. It does not mean we never speak directly or that we compromise doctrinal truth. Words that may be firm in information can be soft in spirit."

My rule of thumb is religions are discussed, politicians have arguments, and the internet is for fights and flame wars. And blogs.

It is okay to have an argument, but it is a skill to hold yourself back while simultaneously defending your position. Jeffrey R. Holland said, "Defend your beliefs with courtesy and with compassion, but
defend them." We should not be afraid to bring up our beliefs in discussions and conversations because we have the skills and knowledge to present and convince others of them. We also have the Spirit on our side to help us keep an atmosphere of peace and love for others. More than anything, have charity for those you speak to, no matter who they are; no one will care how much you know if they don't know how much you care.

For further tips on discussing your beliefs, read this article from The New Era.

Remember: Sometimes there is a place for silence. Even Jesus held His tongue when He knew there was no purpose in speaking.

Microfilm, Mediums, and Mormons! Oh My!

What is Spiritualism?

This.

Spiritualism begins with a belief in all of us having spirits and that there is an afterlife, but it extends to the belief that we can communicate with those beyond the grave through Mediums, Clairvoyants, Psychics, Ouija Boards, and other stuff. Spiritualists studied and analyzed this communication thinking it could be documented and measured scientifically. It seems to be a religion quite absent of faith; these men and women were always on a hunt for truth that could be proven temporally. It grew in popularity in the early 20th century, but died out quickly.

Why would I write a paper about it? Because I could. And I needed a topic for my Honors Thesis somehow based on Sherlock Holmes or his ingenious creator, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Spiritualism, Procrastination, and Graduation

Mom told me of a talk in Sacrament Meeting where a young woman got up and told the congregation, "I'm sorry. I knew I was supposed to write a talk, but I kept putting it off and never got one written." And then she sat down. Well why didn't she at least bear her testimony? some thought in disgust. They listened to the next speaker, who took their allotted ten minutes. And then, that girl got up again. "Today, I would like to speak on Procrastination," she announced.

Sometimes I like to think of myself as an expert on Procrastination because I've had so much practice at it.

Adam West-ing the Scriptures

It's statistically proven that cats
are not trying to kill you.
(Study done by Felines Forever.)

There is a saying along the lines of, "You can find a statistic to prove anything." Statisticians would tell you, "There's a bad statistic to prove anything." Because with some bias and enough bad math, anything is possible.

We have something similar in the gospel. Prophets call it, "Wresting the Scriptures." I, personally, call it, "Adam West-ing the Scriptures." Let me explain.

Adam West played Batman in the 1960's television show of the same name, as well as on the cartoon Superfriends. He was so well known as Batman that he nearly became typecast. My favorite episode of Batman the Animated Series featured Adam West voicing an old actor who played the Gray Ghost. Watch it sometime. It makes my heart melt. Nowadays he voices the kooky Mayor Adam West on Family Guy. Don't watch that one.

Anyway... The episodes of Batman where the Riddler was the villain of the week, Batman would be presented with a riddle such as:

The Cat Sat on the Mat. Where am I?

I am Vengeance! I Am The Night! I Am Teancum!

Sometimes when you read the Book of Mormon, you discover fun things. Like Batman.

Okay, let's set the scene. We have the good guys, namely the Nephite army led by Captain Moroni, Helaman leading the band of Strippling Warriors, and Pahoran acting as Chief Judge over all the land of the Nephites. Over the last several years, they have fought the Lamanites in a bloody and ferocious war. Even worse, a group of Nephite dissenters, led by a man named Amalekiah, continually rile them up and incite hatred towards their former bretheren. The battles go on, the Lamanites taking one city, the Nephites decimating them and taking back their land, then the Lamanites take whole swath of cities. And the battles go on.

And sometimes you buy cereal because it has the Justice League on it.

For more details, read Alma 45-62

One of the great captains of the Nephite armies is Teancum. He is so skilled and decisive that when the Lamanites know a city is protected by him, they do not dare attack it. Teancum does not like the war and bloodshed the Lamanites have forced him into, but he stands firmly for the values set forth by the Title of Liberty. He will protect his country, his religion, his family, and sometimes he goes out of his way to do so. After one battle in Alma 51, he and a servant sneak over to the Lamanites' camp and seek out their leader, Amalekiah.

"And it came to pass that when the night had come, Teancum and his servant stole forth and went out by night, and went into the camp of Amalickiah; and behold, sleep had overpowered them because of their much fatigue, which was caused by the labors and heat of the day.

"And it came to pass that Teancum stole privily into the tent of the king, and put a javelin to his heart; and he did cause the death of the king immediately that he did not awake his servants." (Alma 51:33-34)

The Dark Knight of Apostasy

Shining, happy city...

Apostasy: (a) Distortion or rejection of truth. (b) Loss or absence of Priesthood Authority

Once upon a time in Gotham City, an honorable police force guarded the city. The citizens lived peacefully knowing that they would protect and uphold the law. They had power given to them from on high, otherwise known as the State. They maintained that authority by living the law that they swore to uphold.

Then, the 1920's came around. With the Prohibition of alcohol and other spirits, criminals organized themselves into gangs and mafias. Despite the Gotham City Police Department's efforts to prevent the sale and smuggling of liquor, the crime families became too strong for them to be effectively removed from the city. With little resources and growing opposition, the police and Feds fought a losing battle.

Lost in the fog and gloom...

The Nation did away with the Prohibition Act, but the damage was done. The Mafia put their own system into place within the GCPD, this time with officers receiving bribes and the honorable ones occasionally disappearing in the night only to be found a few days later in the river. Crime spread and became the norm for Gotham. Within a decade, this shining city turned to rust and decay.

What police force they had by the late 20th century, was a joke. This became all too apparent to young Bruce Wayne as he watched Joe Chill, a small time thief, shoot and kill his parents in front of him. The injustice and corruption in the city had gone too far, and he determined that something had to be done by someone. Coincidentally, the vigilante Batman burst onto the Gotham scene when he grew old enough to change the world.

Pow!

This Dark Knight watched over and protected Gotham, opposed on both sides for the good he did and because he went about doing so in the wrong way. Even though Batman took down crime rings, halted super-villains in their tracks, and saved Gotham from utter destruction now and again, he had no authority given to him by The State to play Judge, Jury, Police Officer, Lawmaker, and Animal Control. As a vigilante, he was a criminal himself.

The only way for Gotham to return to its original light and glory is to completely overhaul the system and restore the GCPD to its original integrity by the Governor of The State. His chosen representative(s) would fire the bad cops and call the good cops to higher, nobler positions. Then the citizens of Gotham can live happier safe lives.

We in the real world do not have to wait for such a day to come. After centuries of darkness following the death of Christ's apostles, priesthood authority has been restored to the earth by our loving Heavenly Father. Original gospel truths, once lost due to Apostasy, have been given to us through modern revelation and the Book of Mormon.

I invite everyone, member and investigator alike, to read the Book of Mormon, ponder the message it contains, and to ask God in prayer if it is true. I know that the Holy Ghost will testify to you that it is true, and help strengthen your testimony in our Savior Jesus Christ.