3.1415926

In honor of Super Pi Day, I thought I would make the one and only (useless) definitive list of Chapter 3 Verse 14 that have ever existed in the Standard Works. Just because. You're welcome!

Book of Mormon

1 Nephi "But Laman fled out of his presence, and told the things which Laban had done, unto us. And we began to be exceedingly sorrowful, and my brethren were about to return unto my father in the wilderness."

2 Nephi "And thus prophesied Joseph, saying: Behold, that seer will the Lord bless; and they that seek to destroy him shall be confounded; for this promise, which I have obtained of the Lord, of the fruit of my loins, shall be fulfilled. Behold, I am sure of the fulfilling of this promise;"

Jacob "These plates are called the plates of Jacob, and they were made by the hand of Nephi. And I make an end of speaking these words."

Mosiah "Yet the Lord God saw that his people were a stiffnecked people, and he appointed unto them a law, even the law of Moses."

Alma "Thus the word of God is fulfilled, for these are the words which he said to Nephi: Behold, the Lamanites have I cursed, and I will set a mark on them that they and their seed may be separated from thee and thy seed, from this time henceforth and forever, except they repent of their wickedness and turn to me that I may have mercy upon them."

Helaman "But behold, a hundredth part of the proceedings of this people, yea, the account of the Lamanites and of the Nephites, and their wars, and contentions, and dissensions, and their preaching, and their prophecies, and their shipping and their building of ships, and their building of temples, and of synagogues and their sanctuaries, and their righteousness, and their wickedness, and their murders, and their robbings, and their plundering, and all manner of abominations and whoredoms, cannot be contained in this work."

3 Nephi "And he caused that fortifications should be built round about them, and the strength thereof should be exceedingly great. And he caused that armies, both of the Nephites and of the Lamanites, or of all them who were numbered among the Nephites, should be placed as guards round about to watch them, and to guard them from the robbers day and night."

Ether "Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe on my name; and they shall become my sons and my daughters."

Five Things In My Carry-on That Will Help Me Carry On

So, this is a post I've been carrying around for five months.

I was given the topic, "Carry on, carry on, carry on!" to speak on in church a week before I came home. I imagine Bishop Hood wanted me to talk about the song, but I was sneaky and just a little creative. In this world where we are still in a war of words and tumult of opinions, I need all the help I can get if I want to keep on the straight and narrow. These are five things that we can each carry around, if need be.

1. My Pedigree Chart

The Clock King

"Valerie, where have you been? You've missed all of January and now February is nearly out!" —Y'all. Probably.

I know guys. I got a new job.

See? I'm employed.

I started an internship with the LDS Church News at the start of January. I can tell you it's been one major learning experience after another. One of the biggest things I've learned is that I will probably never have a start to a new job as awkward as this one.

The other thing is that the Lord has perfect timing.

From 2008 to 2012, I studied Mass Communication at the University of Utah. This degree covers things like new media, PR, advertising and my least favorite of all subjects: journalism. Oh, how I hated calling up complete strangers, asking them personal questions, expecting them to give me their time for my benefit. It didn't help that my previous forays into journalism — the high school year book (Olympus 2007-08) — were less than self-confidence boosting and made me hate all aspects of the art with a deep self-loathing. I just can't be a journalist, I concluded. So I did an emphasis in strategic communication so I could just do advertising for the rest of my life.

Then I went on a mission where I talked to complete strangers, asked them deep and often personal questions, and asked them to give me a bit of their time so we could help them spend eternity with their families.

So I came back home a freshly Returned Missionary and Unemployed Bum and searched for work. After a two-month stint at Deseret Book, I landed an internship at the Church News. I had an awkward first week of work (They weren't expecting me to come in until the next week... They let me stay... I don't want to repeat that experience.) and then got right to the stuff I hated.

Journalism.

Fern Nichols with pictures of her family

Well, specifically interviewing people. Covering a devotional isn't that bad because you don't have to talk to anyone. Doing a profile on an adorable, sweet old lady who has been giving tours at the Church Office Building for the past ten years? Terrifying.

Walking up to Fern Nichols' door, I felt like a greenie missionary once again stepping up to a stranger's door to knock on it, except this time without a companion. What am I going to ask? What if she doesn't like me? What if I don't get enough quotable stuff for a story? What if there is no story here?

I just want everyone to know that this woman here is the sweetest lady named Fern I've ever met. Also the easiest hard-of-hearing woman I've ever talked to. Did you know she doesn't dye her hair, still drives her own car, and lives basically independently. She's also a joy to talk to and learn about her life. It felt just like talking to all the old, beautiful, sassy Southern women I met in Florida and Georgia. I left with a bounce in my step and a story in my head.

What in the heck happened? I wondered. I distinctly remember nearly sabotaging my own grades in my journalism classes because I kept putting off doing interviews, as well as doing enough of them. This is a completely different person, one who likes journalism. One who wants to be a journalist.

The answer is, of course, Heavenly Father and His perfect timing. God knows me perfectly, and He knows I like things compartmentalized. I was not going to consider stopping school to go on a mission because I wanted to go until I was done. Fine by Him. At the end of my schooling, I felt a need to go on a mission. So I applied. I may have procrastinated turning in my papers and getting my thesis done, but I applied.

My life has gone 1. school 2. mission 3. career 4.? 5. marriage 6. profit (skip steps 4-6).

I don't know what would have happened if I had gone in a different order, but that's the way things had to work out. If I had not been obedient and gone on a mission, I would not have learned the things I needed to in order to be a happy, willing journalist. It wasn't just being obedient and going, but I had to strive for obedience my entire mission, meaning I had to open my mouth and talk to everyone. I wasn't perfect, which is why I was continually striving, but the point is I keep working on it.

I still feel a bit of hesitation picking up the phone and calling a stranger to ask them for their life's story, but I feel much more confident now. Far more than if I had gone straight from school to work.

The Lord says in Doctrine and Covenants 82:10, "I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

Additionally, King Benjamin taught in Mosiah 2:41, "And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."

Be obedient, yo. Now go out and find me a story.

And remember: the Church News comes with the Deseret News on Saturdays and the Deseret News National Edition. You should totally sign up for one of them if you haven't already.

You're going to ask me what I've been doing for the Church News, so here it is: I covered this devotional, did a profile on a 99 year old lady, did a follow-up to a Martin Luther King Jr. Day event, summed up a forum at BYU with the president of Pixar, got on the cover with a story on the Family Tree Center, did another profile on a 100 year old lady, wrote this moment on missionary work and have a story coming up on a group — not a branch — that meets on Catalina Island. I've also taken some press releases and made them fit to print.

A Paralysis of Paper

I have a bookshelf. I also have a lot of books. I also have lots of binders and folders and files with papers in them. During my culling of my closet, I also had a go at the bookshelves and ended up with one of these:

A box o' books for my favorite Julia who lives in Georgia.

I sent these to a girl who will probably have devoured these by now. Oddly enough, even after doing this, I still had no room in my bookcase. So I had another go at the bookshelves, attacking the worst of the offenders: papers...

PAPERSSSZZZ!!!!garbleblarghyblargh....

Fitting In With The EMZ Crew

So, I do Zumba now.

Early Morning Zumba, also known as EMZ, is exactly what it says on the tin. We meet at 5:30 a.m. five days a week. This makes it convenient for those of us who have to work. It's also a completely free community service offered to whoever wants to show up. Sinai Pauni founded EMZ back in 2010 as a way to practice teaching Zumba. It eventually evolved into the community it has now. None of the instructors are paid to come every morning, set up the music, and provide an entertaining workout for the day. EMZ has attracted lots of faithful followers who have just as much enthusiasm for the program as the instructors.

I'm the one with the Batgirl shirt.

I started attending EMZ about a week or so after I came home from my mission. I needed something to keep me on a schedule. Apparently waking up at 5, much earlier than I ever did on my mission, was exactly that thing. As an added bonus, I am losing weight, feeling healthier, and experiencing more energy than ever before. Exercise does tend to do that to you.

But some days I just really don't want to go to Zumba. And yet I go.

I don't really know why. I remember one morning getting out of bed and feeling so physically tired that I felt sick and unable to move my body. But I went anyway. Other mornings, sleep just feels so darn good and I do not want to get out of my warm, snuggly bed. But when my alarm goes off, and then the snooze alarm finally wakes me up, I get dressed and head out the door.

When first started going to Zumba, I felt out of place and self conscious as a white newcomer among a veteran crowd of women, at least half of whom are Polynesian, the other half Hispanic. I knew everyone would judge my dancing and ability to follow the instructors, which I messed up on a lot. Finding a place on the gym floor that no one had claimed proved doable, but somewhat difficult. I eventually settled at the middle of the free throw line on the right side of the gym.

What really set them apart from me and my family, though, didn't have anything to do with skin tone or cultural background. A culture had developed in those years before I started attending -- one where everyone came to class with an enthusiasm I just don't understand. They shout along with the songs, run up to the stage to participate with the instructors, and several come wearing matching shirts, costumes, or accessories. In short, they are just so freaking happy and I don't get it.

We didn't plan this.

Slowly, I'm coming to have more fun with going to Zumba. I haven't made any friends there yet, but I now go on stage when the instructors ask me to participate. I even jump into group pictures and wore a costume to the Halloween party. (Shoulder Angel from Studio C.) I'm still not as crazy as all the other attendees and volunteers, and I probably never will be. I don't feel the need to document my exercising with photos and videos that I immediately post on Facebook. But I also don't mind trying to have fun while I'm attempting to move my hips as fluidly as Sinai does.

I would liken this to coming to church every Sunday, and even beginning a habit of church attendance for new converts. It's weird walking into a new group of people that you don't know, but you intend to get to know. It will be impossible to just jump in like you know what you're doing already and not make mistakes. The only way to learn the rules to the established culture is to keep exposing yourself to them. That means you have to keep coming, even on those days that you really don't want to be there. Those days suck, but you have to push through it to get the real payoff that comes weeks later.

It's the happiness. Why are those Mormons, and the EMZ crew, so freaking happy? The same reason: Living the gospel brings true joy. Whether it's keeping the Sabbath day holy or living the Word of Wisdom, consistently working towards true principles brings lasting happiness, more than anything else that gives instant, fleeting gratification.

Wait, going to Zumba is part of the gospel? In Doctrine and Covenants 130: 20-21, it's explained that, "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated -- And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." Taking care of our bodies is a commandment from God. So [regular attendance to EMZ]+[consuming healthy food]=Blessings!

If you'd like to join us early in the morning, Monday through Friday, EMZ meets at the Stake Center at 961 W Fremont Ave. (1122 South), Salt Lake City, UT 84104.

And remember: For an easier time getting up in the morning, do not argue with the alarm clock. Snooze buttons kill.

K Thnks; Gimme

This year, I celebrated my first Thanksgiving home with my family. More importantly, I also celebrated my first time ever getting involved in Black Friday first hand in retail. I must say, I enjoyed the experience.

The Greatest Place on Earth

I began working at Deseret Book at the start of November, and for someone who just got home from her mission, it is the best ever job an RM could have ever. Not only am I working and on a regular schedule, but I'm also surrounded by the words of prophets, Apostles, great teachers, and fantastic authors, as well as Lion House rolls. Who wouldn't want to buy the entire store? My first book was The Continuous Atonement by Brad Wilcox. Please imagine me skipping home with joy to show off my new find.

We, of course, have customers that feel the same. With products that uplift and enrich, who wouldn't feel the Spirit in our store?

With Black Friday looming in the near future earlier this week, I pondered on what our crowds would be like. I would be working from 7:30 to 3 that day, meaning I would have to sell our Doorbusters. Such amazing prices, such amazing products -- would there be a line at our doors before I even got to work? Would there be people fighting over the last copy of Reedeemer before the $9.99 price ended at noon? Would I have customers yelling at me because we ran out of Shadow Box Advent Calendars again?

Nope, nope, nope, and we didn't run out of anything important. Sure it was busy, but I had more fun working on Black Friday than I did trying to shop later that day.

Now, apart from our store being smaller than Walmart, I think the lack of insanity had to do with our most unique feature. This store is one of the few that has the Spirit in it. I don't just feel happy every day working at Deseret Book because I'm helping customers find products that they love. The greatest joy I feel is when I hear, "Can you help me find a gift for a [pick an age]-year-old who is getting baptized this weekend?" or, "I need a book that can help me understand the Book of Mormon." Our products aren't just about worldly happiness; they're about spiritual happiness and fulfillment.

Pictured: Not Deseret Book

Despite the true happiness that can be found here, I have no doubt that most people swarmed Walmart and Macy's on Black Friday, desperately searching for the scraps of temporary happiness found in getting a great deal on a TV or a pile of Christmas gifts. Maybe they don't know about Deseret Book. Maybe they love that rush of excitement over lasting peace. Maybe the meaning of Thanksgiving is being lost in the madness of ridiculous discounts.

Whatever the reason, I would hope that wherever one goes on Black Friday, they would not forget to be grateful for what they already have, even if they're shopping for more things for themselves or others.

And remember: One of the love languages is receiving or giving gifts. Don't feel bad if that's one of your favorite ways to show love. It's my favorite too.

A Closet Full of Clothes

I heard lots of things about what I would experience coming home from my mission.

• I would get depressed because as a Returned Missionary, people wouldn't treat me special like when I had that missionary tag on my shoulder.
• I wouldn't know what to do with myself, especially without a companion and a schedule.
• I would have a hard time adjusting to all the new media I would now be allowed to listen to. (i.e. movies, radio, TV, internet...)

Instead, I just spent six weeks watching entire seasons of The Legend of Korra, Doctor Who, Arrow, and Studio C. If that doesn't say that I know how to get back into my old swing of things, I don't know what does.

Like this, but with more knit sweaters and Batman shirts.

What I did not realize I would have trouble with was my room. I came home with three suitcases and a shoulder bag, all stuffed to the brim with my entire life over the last eighteen months, minus some things I had to leave behind: bath towel, tennis shoes, and a sewing machine among others. When I went to put away my modest supply of clothes that kept me warm for the last year and a half, I met a completely full closet.

I didn't just take a section of my clothes out of my closet to accompany me on my mission. I bought new things before I left so I could be properly attired in my new role as a servant of the Lord. While I spent those eighteen months as a missionary in a completely different area of the country I knew, I added to that wardrobe with some finds at thrift stores and Goodwill. Now, I faced the task of merging the wardrobe that I used to have with the clothes that I was so used to wearing. I seriously feel completely comfortable doing chores and going about town in a skirt and a button-down blouse.

You can have these.

I couldn't put the two together because there was no room for both the old and the new. I tried, but shoving clothes back and forth gets incredibly tiring. So I had to cull my old wardrobe. This shirt was too small; I never wore that skirt anyway; I hate this hoodie so much; why is this blazer even in here? I ended up with several large piles of clothes that I managed to drag all the way to Deseret Industries: Utah's version of Goodwill.

My closet still has way more clothes than a human needs in its lifetime, but all my mission clothes fit. And that's what I wanted. I wanted the me of my mission, as expressed by the clothes I wore, to fit inside the space that represented the rest of me. I can't get rid of my Batman shirts, or the somewhat faded spandex Japanese color-fest shirt, or the hoodies that represent the organizations I once belonged to. That was me before my mission, and that will be me for a long time coming. But I spent eighteen months getting rid of the parts of me that I don't like. It only fits that I would do the same with my clothes. Not that any of my old clothes were bad; they were just worn out and not as good as some of my new wardrobe.

One of the piles of old clothes that I want to get rid of is this habit of wasting an entire days just watching Youtube videos, entire seasons of a TV show in a single day, or whatever I can find on Netflix. I don't want to keep spending all my time playing hidden object games when I could be doing something useful like writing a book or reading my scriptures. In fact, that is another one of my old habits I want to burn with fire: not reading the scriptures like I'm supposed to. I thought that after eighteen months of daily scripture study, this would be the easiest thing to keep doing, but it's not. I've failed so hard at it!

Thankfully, I have just gotten a new job at Deseret Book. Not only is it a great environment to foster my love of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but with a schedule, I will more than likely use my time more effectively. I do intend to get myself back into shape in terms of being productive, because there's nothing more I hate than old!me.

And remind me: I still need to ship Sis. Hillman a fork that I accidentally took home from Waycross, GA.